Hello. Hello.
I am not really mentally well these days. I still look forward to what each day would offer. I had a lot of work last week, following up my new assignment and I feel like every single day is an adventure.
I listened to Spotify podcast last night. It was until 12:30am because see, I cannot really sleep easily while being in my space in the city. I felt like if I am there, there is something for me to worry about at home. You know what, what happened to the last few years, losing my father, losing a dear uncle who sincerely looked over us when my tatay went on, I think a trauma is lingering inside me. I fear, I fear that another thing I cannot even utter would happen and it bothers me each night of my life. There was a time when I was in church and I felt bad because I thought that, why I am like this? Do I not trust God at all? Is my faith in His love for me failing? Maybe not. There was a time when I asked, am I being punished because I was selfish sometime in my life or am I challenged to test my faith? That thing kept me thinking.
Here’s another night that I will once again battle. Good thing though that I am at home and I am with my family. Perhaps this will be easier than the weekdays.
Just to give you a glimpse of my Saturday. I actually woke up late, having the fact that I slept late. But the morning is quiet with Taylor Swift songs in the background. I think it is necessary for me. I hopped on the bus two or an hour before lunch. The bus was empty and it will travel to Butuan, then to Davao. It will travel the whole day, I guess. I heard from a man in there that it is rare. Sometimes, it feels like wow, I am here on a rare ride.
I joined my family by lunch and it is nice. Our kids visited at the afternoon, and they indeed grew up by the week!
I spent the whole day fixing my Shopee account, and looking for tissue holder and donut board from online stores. Hehe! The small things that keep us going. I also thought of finishing my pending work tasks but the whole search thing left me nothing work to do the entire afternoon. I will just do it after I post this.
Well, I guess, a good night to you.
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