In a Better Place

HELLO, EVERYONE. As I write this, it is already 11:52pm to be exact. It is holidays, reason I have enough sleep in the past few nights since I usually wake up sooo late, and I earlier drank so much coffee, perhaps the reason I am still up.

I feel quite productive today. I finished one assigned article that took me hours of transcribing voice recording from our last interview (Next time, I will jot down instantly) and few quarrels with my nephew over my laptop telling him it is not for playing.

I helped prepare an afternoon snacks too.

The other day, I started my online Professional Cookery course. What I like about having it online is I can open my account any time comfortable with me, so I don’t have to hurry. Moreover, it doesn’t have to compete with my regular work load. It is great to learn new things! I remember being anxious I cannot enroll with short courses I like and curious about because of battling stress for a long time, though it should have been so easy for me already.

To update you, so much have changed. I mean my intrapersonal skills have improved. I admit I am still scared and disturbed about this COVID-19 health crisis situation in the country, more so that our office is as well on the frontline. It is worse than the Marawi Siege, since we are fighting against a faceless enemy this time. However, I pondered, it is right time for me to strengthen my faith all the more. My heart had been in pain in so many years but my faith put me to my better place. It might not be the best but it is the better, and I am grateful. Hence, that is should how I position myself amid the global crisis all of us are facing. I need to be proactive.

I am not so much stressed anymore. I guess, God must have watched and saw me being sad and heartbroken countless times. Then the universe just conspired. I hope everything will stay calm. I am praying for this peace over and over and extra over again every day. Or else, whichever will happen, I am hoping God prepared me well before that.

I love my place right now and all I can do is to enjoy this while it last.

I bond with my friends occasionally. I started studying again. I began conversing sans talking about problems. I am not pressured in blogging anymore since I started choosing events that best suit my niche. I am not even super over-social media-inclined individual anymore (I still do social media, of course). I go home from work with a light heart. I can stay at my dorm without crying for nights. I can live with it now, and I get excited to go home after days or weeks. I am being understood as I tried understanding other people. I climbed the bus lightly. I learned to free my mind when I sit in there. I can maintain and mostly follow schedule book already. Ladies and gents, these are things that were so hard to reach before. You know, some dreams need not to be so high. Dreams can be these simple things, which will make you breathe and smile after.

What I realized is that for so many years, I was so occupied with things that are not for me. I realized there are battles not worth fighting for. I just have to do what I need to. Learn to focus. As they say, you do you.

Maybe, this is the good thing while you age every single day, you learn to appreciate and choose the small things that are necessary for your living over big things that can be roots of doubts and diminishes self-love.

You know what, I must be at peace with the world now. It is my first holidays that I can say I felt so much blessed to enjoy having. There is Family. There are Friends I can chat now without being in haste.

I still have worries, but I am settled when I say I will put my trust that God will not forsake me and my loved ones.

This feels AMAZING, I could cry.

I know you know that midst my stressful life I have been pouring out in this online diary, I always choose to be a positive person. You can trust that you can read that in my previous posts. But being truly blessed with peaceful days where I am not battling with myself anymore is such priceless.

I am anxious sometimes that the period favorable to me will be over, that the glass will be turned once again but who am I to worry when everything just fall into place within their selves. I did not force or do anything, my life just got fixed by itself, by God’s grace.

I hope you, guys are in your best place or if not, in your better places right now. We don’t have to be so hard with ourselves. We just have to let our heart be. By simply being happy.

Good night.