Right now, in this Sunday afternoon, it is raining and I feel like being emotional. It’s Father’s Day and I miss my Tatay a lot. The faith that I will be seeing him soon in God’s time is the very thought that I am holding every single day, that make me live. But right now it is just different. I miss my Father so, so much. His presence, his voice and its tone have been always my strength and sans those, I feel like my heart is empty.
This tough experience taught me about life the most, the lessons that I have to live, that indeed life is to be lived fully and happily, to count all the blessings, to always treasure the moments and time spent with people who matters. In life, we may fight different battles daily, but it is true that we should not forget to be grateful to Him.
For me, I am very grateful for all the years, for the experiences and the moments I spent with my Father, for these memories have been my shield right now that I feel like I am in the sea of sorrow, heartache and grief. I can only count the time we talked deeply and he is a man of few words but he made sure that every conversation will mark in my heart.
My Father experienced a long, hard life when I was younger with all the hate he received from other people in our family, but all those pushed me to live the life he wished for me, amidst all the criticisms. I am not perfect. People cannot see what I see, nor feel what I feel but my parents saw and felt those. They saw me dream and pushed me on keep on dreaming and realize such. All the problems I had in my adult life, my Father mend those with jokes and his laugh. My Father has been my constant low-key cheerleader. Unlike my mom, he does not cheer infront of me but behind me believing I do not know when I do.
These are the memories of him that I miss. There are chances that I also failed to gasp, but I will let those remind me of the things I should learn harder.